The Safe Haven we so desperately need

I get it now.  Up until 12 months ago, I thought I understood.  But I simply couldn’t until I met her.

We brought Buttercup, our Cavapoo puppy, home a year ago this month, and I was immediately smitten.  Having never owned a pet before, nothing could have prepared my wife Rhonda and me for how strong the attachment can be between people and their pets.

My wife Rhonda and Buttercup on Gotcha Day: August 23, 2025

Don’t get me wrong: raising a puppy isn’t all peaches and cream.  I don’t love getting up in the middle of the night to take her outside to go potty.  I’m not a fan of her random obsessive urges to dig holes, nor her occasional slow obedience to our commands to “come”.

But Buttercup is a loving, sweet dog who has brought much laughter, playful energy, and unconditional affection into our home.  She is adored not only by us, but our grandchildren, children, parents, and neighbors as well.  Although she’s not loved in the same way a grandchild is, we absolutely consider Buttercup a member of our family, and our hearts are totally for her.

Photo credit: Don Reynard

As is so often the case, the strength of our mutual bond became most apparent during hardship.  I’ll never forget the evening six months ago when she suddenly started tremoring and couldn’t stand without falling over.  She was petrified, and we were in tears as we rushed her to the pet emergency room.  It turns out that she had ingested some THC (marijuana) on a slip of paper on the street when we had taken a walk before dinner.  Thankfully, she was diagnosed quickly and treated effectively by the ER doctors and made a full recovery within 48 hours of the incident.

As I recall that evening, I’ll always remember what Buttercup did when she was at her most disoriented and distressed: she made her way between my legs.  As all dog owners know, when there is a secure attachment between dog and owner, the place between their owner’s legs is a supreme place of safety, security, and comfort.  It is a safe haven when the world is scariest.  Rhonda and I have seen Buttercup return to this haven a number of times, most commonly when she’s scared by a bigger dog.

But it’s not just dogs that need safe haven when they’re scared.  The same is true for us humans as well.  The sobering truth is that God created us for Eden, not a world filled with such pervasive injustice, evil, and danger.  No man, woman, or child, no matter how tough-minded or resilient, is self-equipped to bear the weight of the soul-crushing brokenness, pain, and wickedness all around us.  When the lightning is flashing and the thunder is crashing, every instinct in us desires shelter.  Where do we turn?

Photo credit: Josep Castells (Unsplash)

A more compelling question raised in the Scriptures is, “To whom do we turn?”  Our loving God deeply desires to be the answer to this question.  We see this over and over in the Psalms, with Psalm 91 being perhaps the preeminent example:

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”
Surely he will save you
    from the fowler’s snare
    and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers,
    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. (Psalm 91:1-4)

Photo credit: Andy Willis (Unsplash)

The Heavenly Father longs for us to find rest and peace in His arms, to be our safe haven no matter how violent the storms are all around us.  His loving eyes and strong arms are open wide to us at all times.

So why do we so often not come?

There are surely many reasons for this tragedy.  But I believe that for many of us, a big reason is that pain from our earthly fathers has clouded our perception of the Heavenly Father.  Let’s be honest: many of us grew up with dads who were workaholics, emotionally distant, abusive, disengaged, angry, or physically absent.  As a result, the very concept of “father” is tainted for many people.  We feel confident in the love of Jesus, the one who gave His life for us on the cross.  But the Heavenly Father can feel aloof, unpredictable, and wrathful.  Whether we recognize it or not, many of us have no problem running to Jesus, but have very ambivalent feelings when we see the Father’s open arms.

Photo credit: Tadeusz Lakota (Unsplash)

In the Upper Room discourse (John 13-17) when Jesus unpacks the profoundly beautiful truth of living life with God, He wants to help the disciples know the heart of the Father better so that they can fully attach to Him.  He knows that they won’t come to the Father as their safe haven unless they are fully convinced that the Father loves them even as Jesus loves them.

Jesus begins with these words in John 16:26-27: “In that day you will ask in my name. I am not saying that I will ask the Father on your behalf. No, the Father himself loves you because you have loved me and have believed that I came from God.” (emphasis added)

Jesus is saying that they can run to the Father directly because He Himself loves them.  Jesus has already told them that if they’ve seen Him, they’ve seen the Father (John 14:9).  They are two Persons sharing one heart of love.  The Father loves as Jesus loves.  Jesus loves as the Father loves.  Knowing we are so loved by the Father leads us to trust the safety of His embrace.

Photo credit: Dallas Reedy (Unsplash)

Jesus comes back to this theme in the astounding, world-changing crescendo of His high priestly prayer in John 17:23b, 26:

“Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me … I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.” (emphasis added)

More stunning words have never been spoken.

After first revealing that the Father Himself also loves us, Jesus concludes by clarifying the unfathomable nature of the Father’s love for us – that He loves us just as He loves His one and only begotten Son!

Let that sink in for a moment.

Being united with Christ, we have complete access to the unlimited love the Father has for His first-born Son.  We are not children of a lesser god, nor children loved with a lesser love.  We truly are heirs of God and co-heirs of Christ (Romans 8:17), able to cry out “Abba, Father” (Romans 8:15) even as Jesus does (Mark 14:36).

I said earlier that although Buttercup is not loved in the same way a grandchild is, she is still dearly loved as a member of the family.  Imagine the scandal it would be if we announced that our love for Buttercup was equal to the love for our grandchildren.  Most people would question what’s wrong with us!

Buttercup and our grandson Carl (photo credit: Christina Haines)

And yet, here is Jesus, telling us something far more outrageous, far more scandalous.  He’s saying that the Heavenly Father loves us even as He loves Jesus!  The Being with the greatest capacity for love in the entire universe loves us with the full extent of His limitless love!

If this truth sinks into our hearts even a little bit, it changes everything.

It means that we have a safe haven available to us anytime. All the time.  It means that God will never grow weary of our neediness.  In fact, it means that the opposite is true: He is glorified every time we run to our Safe Haven.

Buttercup instinctively runs or even crawls between my legs when she’s scared because she knows and trusts my protective love for her.  She knows that I will defend her, care for her, and get her the help she needs when she needs it.

May God develop our instinct to run, walk, or even crawl if necessary to our Safe Haven no matter our circumstances, knowing that we will be welcomed and embraced by the all-consuming, blazingly passionate, tenderly loving arms of our Heavenly Father.

“The Father’s Embrace”, painted by Virginia Carvalho

Written by: Don Reynard